Friday, July 25, 2008

Disappointed in myself :(

I am so discouraged with myself.

On Tuesday morning I jumped on the scale. I wanted to see my damage from vacation so I could get off those few lbs I had gained. So it wasn't just a few lbs it was more like 7 lbs. All week long I was trying to eat better, watch my points, etc. I wasn't eating clean, but I was staying within my WW point range.
I am not going to lie and say I've been good, but I haven't been awful either! This morning I hopped on the scale again and saw a number I haven't seen in MONTHS, YEARS! It was up almost 10 lbs from the beginning of the summer. I've gained almost 10 lbs this summer!

So here lies the reason I'm depressed. 10 lbs is huge for me. I've totally just fallen off the wagon and I need some help jumping back on. I know that probably half of that is water. No way I've not been that bad. It is past time to jump back on board.
The number that my scale read is now plastered in my mind. I even put it in HUGE numbers on my computer so I could see it. Every time I want a bite of this or that, that number will be staring me down. Hey, it works for me, so don't' knock it!

At Phit and Phat, Corinne gives us daily/weekly menus we can use. I've already printed them off and I'm starting my grocery list. Enough is enough. I can't let 10 lbs turn into 15 or 20. I'm just disgusted with myself.

However, starting today I'm back on. No more being down and depressed. This is a change I have to make and I'm not letting that number derail me.

As for my exercise plan:
I'm thinking I'll start training for another half marathon. Sure, I didn't lose much weight last year, but it kept me at the maintain point. Once I drop these few lbs 8-10, hovering around 150 is fine with me. In fact, I feel good at 150 lbs. So starting in August, I'll start my running up again. Maye the next week will allow me to shed a few lbs before doing so.

I really have aspirations of doing a full marathon one day. Dawn called me last night and she and I discussed it. Depending upon my future family, I'm thinking I may do a full marathon with her March 2010. You may be asking why not this March? Well, if I'm up for it, I may just do it. If I train for another 1/2 marathon from now until December, I'm half way to a marathon. If I keep up my after my December 1/2 then ideally I'll be ready for a full come March.
I'm just thinking here. I know for now I need to get back in good shape and running seems to be best way of doing that.

I'm going to post my grocery list later today for you to see. Listen, this blog was created for this exact purpose. Helping me stay on track. I can do this, I can do this!

BBL to post my grocery list!


Alli said...

You can do this!!! 10 lbs might seem big but its completely managable... and you are doing the right thing getting back on track now and not letting that number get any bigger. You have a plan... now you just need to act on it. I am pullin for ya girl!!!

Sagan Morrow said...

You KNOW that you can do this. You've got such a great plan and we're all here!

Ruthie said...

Hi Jessica..
My name is ruthie.. and i found you via a blog search for marathon training :) you mentioned you are going to start training for another 1/2 soon. I just wanted to drop a note and say you CAN do it.
I started a workout blog 2 years ago to get in shape and loose weight.. and i am currently training for my first marathon.. I will run it to celebrate my new found fitness AND turning 40! ..

love your blog..

you can do it!


Colette said...

Jessica....thank you thank you thank you for the pep talk about the weight gain on vaca!!
I knew I'd gain a little but 8.4 was a shocker I will admit. But I do have faith in my plan and I know it will work so losing it should not be a problem.
I agree with you about the seafood there in Fl. I grew up in PC and use to eat seafood all the time and it is delish. Don't get me wrong Louisiana has it's great foods too but at least at home I am able to NOT eat the bad stuff.
Thanks for the shout out. I think your doing wonderfully on your plan and the difference in your before and after pic is AMAZING!!! keep up the good work!!!